#10. Nicole Kidman, 6/20/67

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Alice in Eyes Wide Shut, Satine in Moulin Rouge, Ada in Cold Mountain, Tom Cruise's ex-wife
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: Nothin'. She gave herself the biggest gift in life when she got out of her marriage with Tom Cruise before he went bat-shit crazy about Scientology and starting jumping on Oprah's couch like a fucking lame.

#9. Venus Williams, 6/17/80

CLAIM TO FAME: Professional tennis player currently ranked No. 2 in the world
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A season worth of lace, corset-like match outfits, much like the one she wore to this year's French Open. Which would actually be a present for everyone else.

#8. Lucy Hale, 6/14/89

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Rose on Privilege, starring in the upcoming ABC Family series Pretty Little Liars
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: An escorted (by us) trip to Vegas and her first legal cocktail. We're leaning towards "Sex on the Beach" or a "Slippery Nipple."

#8. Courtney Cox, 6/15/64

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Monica on Friends, currently playing Jules on Cougar Town
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: If she doesn't have enough Cox already, we'd be happy to give her a little more.

#6. Elizabeth Hurley, 6/10/65

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Vanessa Kensington in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and The Spy Who Shagged Me
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A reputation other than "Hugh Grant's former girlfriend" 'cause we can only imagine how much it sucks to be linked to a British lame who was arrested for trying to get a blowjay from a prostitute.

#5. Natalie Portman, 6/9/81

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Queen Amidala in the Star Wars trilogy, Sam in Garden State, starring as Jane Foster in the upcoming Thor
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A bottle of Cognac, home-baked hash brownies, and a couple of mixtapes from our favorite gangsta rap artists 'cause she's so fuckin' down, it's insanely hot. Oh, and ice cream cake.

#4. Angelina Jolie, 6/5/75

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Lisa Rowe in Girl, Interrupted, Lara Croft in Tomb Raider, consistently named The Sexiest Woman Alive
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A kid from the Jersey shore to add to her collection of worldly children.

#3. Anna Kournikova, 6/7/81

CLAIM TO FAME: Professional tennis player and model
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: An "A for Effort" tennis trophy; although she never won anything in her career, we all won every time we got to watch her play.

#2. Zoe Saldana, 6/19/78

CLAIM TO FAME: Played Uhura in Star Trek, Neytiri in Avatar, Aisha in The Losers, Complex's December/January cover girl
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A chance to reprise her role in After Sex opposite Mila Kunis.

#1. Heidi Klum, 6/1/73

CLAIM TO FAME: Supermodel, Victoria's Secret Angel, host of "Project Runway"
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: Another costume party just so she can flex her creative muscles and dress up like this again.