Undercover Male Truths

 1.When it comes to men in this free market, there is quite a range of available goods. So girl, we shopped around the superstore in their pants and categorized all the products for you. Hey, it’s a hard job, but somebody’s gotta do it! As the Good Housekeeping raters of the peen, here’s what we found out from out pants-off tests.

 2.The Red Hot Chili Pepper: This kind of curved popper makes a sharp turn.
Pro: Whether it’s signaling left or right, it’s somehow still headed in your direction. With the optimal position, it can really hit the right spot!
Con: It kinda looks like Gonzo’s (from “The Muppets”) nose.

 3. Thumbkin: Small and opposable, it can actually be very useful.
Pro: It’ll fit right in, whether you’re relaxed or not. No lube necessary! Plus, guys with Thumbkins usually are very skilled in foreplay and willing to go the distance to make sure you’re satisfied.
Con: In the dark, you might find yourself asking, “Where is Thumbkin?”  But depending on the guy, you might find he knows all the right places to hide.

 4.The Grower: At first glance, it fools you into thinking it’s an average snake in the grass.  However, if you really take a good look, you’ll quickly realize it’s actually quite a lengthy garden hose.
Pro: This man is full of surprises!
Con: Are you ready for the spray down?

 5.The Soda Can: Also known as “The Chose.” Fat with a “ph” too, this cylinder is almost as wide as it is long. Refreshing once you open it up, it’s so sweet you’ll keep cashing in on those free refills.
Pro: Girth.
Con: Length.

 6.The Pencil: Skinny but not mini, the pencil is long and strong. Attached to a guy with sharpened skills, it can be something special to write home about.
Pro: Length.
Con: Girth.

 7.The Dumbbell: The weight is stacked the end. So, if you raise the bar, this body builder will pump you up!
Pro: Head can easily hit the G-spot.
Con: Comes in head-strong on entry.

8.The Elephant Trunk: It hangs down to the ground, which makes picking this thing up an impressive feat, or, in this case, foot. Seriously, how does he walk around with that thing swingin’?
Pro: Bragging rights.
Con: Just like the elephant rides at the zoo, you have to be brave and totally relaxed to hop on it. Virgins, consider yourself warned.

 9.The Frankfurter: Not too big, not too small, its standard size fits perfectly in a variety of buns. So relish this hot dog!
Pro: It’s one size fits all and you won’t feel shortchanged when you try it on.
Con: Depending on whose hot dog it is, you might relish it.

 10.The Monument: Wider at the base, this penis comes to a peak like a triangle pointing to the sky.  If you’re ready to climb him, it’s a hike up to the summit! But if you build it, they will come.
Pro: It gets better and better as you go deeper and deeper. The girth at the base really stimulates your point of entry too. Bonus!
Con: You’ll be a monomaniac about depth during sex.

11.The Uncut Film: Just like bonus raw footage features on the DVD of your favorite movie, it’s got enjoyable extras. Usually a foreign film, this flick has a cult fan following.
Pro: Guys who avoid the tip nip are typically easier to please, must be all those extra nerve endings they kept. Plus, when you’re giving them a BJ, they’re not all about deep-throating. All you have to do is focus your attention on that very tip.
Con: This hoodie needs to be washed, on the daily. Otherwise his junk will be too funky for you.


Related Story: Do You Know All About SEX?









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