Not so good movie posters

Let’s face it, some movie posters are truly memorable, while others are fairly forgettable. But some posters came out so awful, they just …sucks! This is handpicked gallery of stupid, weird, funny, and bad photoshopped posters.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes

How many times do we have to tell you poster people? It’s 1990s, not 1990’s. And if the grammatical error wasn’t bad enough, the picture of a bunch of VHS tapes dumped on a table is about as exciting as the last time we cleared out our loft.

The Informers

According to the source material, this is an edgy flick set in ’83 LA featuring movie executives, rock stars and a vampire.
According to the poster, it’s a remake of Mannequin. Did you know that The Informers stars the insanely beautiful Amber Heard? Not if all you’ve seen is this rubbish ad

The Rebound

We can’t decide which grosses us out more – the sight of some kid with a stripper’s knickers in his gob, or the fact that Catherine Zeta Jones’ face looks like something out of the third act of Brian Yuzna’s Society. Either way, we’ll be avoiding this one like Michael Douglas dodges coffins.

Race To Witch Mountain

Wow, cool! Helicopters! A spaceship! And… a taxi cab?! This has got to be the most unfair race in the world! And why are they racing to Witch Mountain, anyway? Is the prize Dwayne Johnson’s massive floating head? Or the Siamese twins that appear to be growing out of his ear? WE NEED ANSWERS!

The Unborn

Okay, at first glance this might look like the best poster ever made – it does contain an arse in pants, after all. But that’s the problem.
We might glance up a bit to see that weird looking kid in the mirror, we may even glance down a bit to see what the film’s called, but we won’t linger on either long enough to retain the information. We’re too busy getting back to the arse. In pants. Brilliant.

After Life

So, who is that? Natalie Portman gone blonde? Anna Faris gone slim? Or just some unknown actress no-one cares about?
If only we could see her face properly. Or even read the name above the title.
Hey, I wonder what happened to Kate Bosworth. She hasn’t been in anything for ages. We used to like her.

Corky Romano

The look on Romano’s face is somewhere between orgasmic bliss and a man who’s in the process of taking a massive bowel movement. And it’s further emphasized by the fact that it’s the only freakin’ image on the poster. Was Chris Kattan really such a star at the time that they felt they could promote a movie with just his insanely grinning mug?
With a color scheme that likely prompted a lawsuit from Hulk Hogan, the poster is moronic and not the least bit funny.
Who is Corky Romano?
Who gives a damn?

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

This movie is considered one of the all-time worst by both critics and fans. Not content with that distinction, the makers of the film also designed a poster so crappy that they were sure to be included on this prestigious list. I have to give credit where credit’s due; whoever was calling the shots for this one was certainly ambitious.I don’t have any children of my own, and this poster makes me want to keep it that way. Too bad the parents of the poster’s designers didn’t feel the same way.

Hercules in New York

Made in 1970, this movie (also known as Hercules Goes Bananas and simply Hercules) was the first feature role for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Much like Baby Geniuses 2, this also happens to be considered a contender for the worst film of all time. In fact, Arnold’s accent was so thick that his lines were dubbed over by another actor.
With his large forehead and freakish muscles on display, the future action movie king looks to me to be dressed only in a towel. In some ways, I think this poster could easily be mistaken as an ad for a gay porno. The poster does an incredibly poor job of indicating the kind of action we might see in the film. With a barren black background, all we know for sure is that we’re going to see lots of some unknown muscular guy wearing a towel.
Great idea for a gay porno. Horrible idea for anything else.

Up the Sandbox

In what proved to be one of her lowest-grossing films ever, Barbra Streisand starred Up the Sandbox, a 1972 movie that involved, among other things, armed robbery, tribal fertility music, a terrorist plot to blow up the Statue of Liberty… and one of the ugliest movie posters ever made.

Christine

One of many posters for the 1983 movie Christine, I must say it looks like a giant vagina with teeth.

Top Dog

Here’s a new Chuck Norris fact: his 1995 movie Top Dog sucks… and its poster took about 15 minutes to be made.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

On this poster for Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Spock and Kirk seem to be riding a gay rainbow to San Francisco, looking around bewildered at the gays.

One Crazy Summer

Awesome cast, but what’s that awful smiling sun doing in 1986 One Crazy Summer’s poster?

What’s The Worst That Can Happen?

What’s The Worst That Can Happen? This poster? Nope, the film’s even worse, sadly. To be fair, it lost us at the words ‘Martin’ and ‘Lawrence’. Danny DeVito deserves better.

Good Luck Chuck

A poster that matches the awfulness of the film. Good work in that sense, I suppose. I think I find this so offensive because I object to the fact that it’s mimicking an iconic picture of John and Yoko that featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. And not very well, either.

Bangkok Dangerous

I really like the original Bangkok Dangerous, but this Nic Cage re-make was pretty bad. I have no idea what’s happening in this poster. Is that an invisible gun in Cage’s hand? Why is he reaching into his coat? Does he have an itch? That must be it. That would certainly explain the look on his face.

One Missed Call

Stupid horror movies are often accompanied by equally stupid posters, but what the hell is going on here?! I have no idea what it will sound like when I do, but I sure hope it doesn’t look like that.

NeXt

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